Tears of Men

by Dev Avidon

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  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

    Also includes a PDF with the liner notes and lyrics. You can also stream the album for free in its entirety right here, as well as on MOG or Spotify.

      $9.99 USD

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    For those who prefer physical media, this is the official Tears of Men Redbook CD release. Comes in a standard jewel case, with digital printing and glass-master replicated CD. Ships via USPS media mail in a padded envelope.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Tears of Men via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 3 days

      $15 USD

     

  • USB Flash Drive + Digital Album

    This is an extremely limited edition USB key edition of Tears of Men. Each hand wood-burned, wearable 2gb drive is made from reclaimed pine and rope lanyard, and each drive is unique. On it, you'll find the original HD studio masters in their native 24/96 sample rate, the highest possible quality VBR MP3 transcodes of the master CD, lyrics, the original artwork and charts, and a short note from me with some thoughts about the album and how to best take advantage of the high definition FLAC files on the drive.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Tears of Men via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 2 days
    edition of 500 

      $20 USD

     

  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    This is an extremely limited edition 2 LP set of Tears of Men in 180 gram audiophile Vinyl, replete with custom artwork. There are 250 in Black and 250 in Blue Colorlight (please specify which you'd prefer in your order). The black sounds slightly better, however, I may at some point repress in Black if there is demand, whereas the 250 in blue are the only ones that will ever exist. Of course, you'll also get a free digital copy of the album along with your purchase, but frankly, the Vinyl sounds infinitely better than the digital could ever dream to.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Tears of Men via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 2 days
    edition of 500 

      $30 USD

     

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about

Tears of Men is my sophomore effort. I began composing the material for this album nearly six years ago, and I recorded the basic tracks the April before last. These last two years have largely been spent tweaking, editing, adding, overdubbing and massaging it into what it is now. There are literally dozens of artists, hundreds of parts and thousands of takes that have gone into this project, and I have learned so much from the people who've helped me realize it. I am especially indebted to my producer Patrick Derivaz, who's patience and mentorship are the reason this album exists as it does today. The bulk of my audio engineering capacity is a direct result of my following his lead and learning from his mastery throughout the course of mixing, editing and recording it.

Tears of Men is a densely arranged, complex work. I've heard it compared to everything from The Royal Scam to Dark Side of the Moon. It will likely not be your first choice for the gym or the dance floor, but it will take full advantage of high fidelity systems (especially in its native 24/96), and it will reward you for multiple listenings. As someone very close to me put it, “it's the kind of music you use to sit down and make a night out of listening to.” In every conceivable way, this is simply a superior album to my first. Once again, Oz Noy's improvisation is brilliant, and his solos are truly breathtaking. The album is worth listening to for them alone. And once again, I am incredibly blessed to have been aided by so many more capable musicians than myself. But the composition itself is far more nuanced and intricate, the lyricism is more mature, and my vocal performances are much improved. Above all else, I have finished this project a better musician, a better engineer, a better writer and a better person than when I started. With any luck I will be blessed enough to say the same after my next album comes to a close. For now, I hope that Tears of Men may move you in some meaningful way, and visit a harmonious note on your life. Making it has certainly been the highlight of mine.

On a final note, Track 4, "Heaven's Not Enough," is freely available for download in CD FLAC from my website (wirespokewheels.com/music/dev). This track is a cover of a song from Yoko Kanno's soundtrack to "Wolf's Rain," an inspiring, brilliant piece of anime with an unbelievable soundtrack that I highly encourage exploring further. This track is licensed under Creative Commons (Attribution Non-Commercial Share-Alike), and you're more than welcome to download and disseminate it.

credits

released February 7, 2012

Dev Avidon: lead and backing vocals
Roy Assaf: piano
Oz Noy: electric guitar, acoustic guitar and mandolin (track 8)
Mark Egan: electric bass guitar
Karl Latham: drums and percussion (except track 12)
Ben Rosenblum: keyboards, Hammond organ (track 4), Fender Rhodes (track 7) and accordion (track 8)
Rubin Khodeli: cello
Jesse Mills: violin
Patrick Derivaz: acoustic bass guitar (track 5) and upright bass (tracks 11 and 12)
Keve Wilson: oboe (track 2) and English horn (track 9)
Ofer Assaf: alto saxophone (track 3) and soprano saxophone (track 4)
Dave Hopkins: clarinet (tracks 4 and 12)
Jake Goldbas: drums (track 12)
Megan Okura: erhu (track 8)
Marco Lienhard: shakuhachi (track 8)
Michael Dease: flugelhorn (track 10)
Wayne Tucker: trumpet (track 10)
Dru Munsell: backing vocals (track 9)
Wolf Pack: backing vocals (track 8)

Music and Lyrics by Dev Avidon, except
"Heaven's Not Enough," Music by Yoko Kanno, Lyrics by Tim Jensen

Steven Rosenblum: executive producer
Monique Witt: executive producer
Patrick Derivaz: lead producer, engineer
Dev Avidon: producer, engineer

Recorded at Bennett Studios (thanks for the memories)
Mastered at Firebird Studios
Art and Graphics by Instability in the Program
Photography by Lori Laitman and Dru Munsell

tags

license

Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.

about

Dev Avidon Brooklyn, New York

I am a composer, a writer, a singer and an engineer.
I create jazz and rock and a child of both.
I create music with my brother as Wire Spoke Wheels.
I create Dave's Cables
I create complex and intricate things.
I try to create beautiful things.
I create because Art sanctifies humanity.
I create for an American meritocracy.
I create for a time when art may live again.
... more

contact / help

Contact Dev Avidon

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Track Name: Lost Under The Sun
Dear highway Nine
It's been a long time
How are you?

Made one mistake
But I'm back to retake
What is mine

So sunshine make a little space
I'm back to my old face
I'm doing fine

My mind is clear
And now that I'm here
We shall begin anew
You can repay your dues in kind

I'm not the only one
Lost under the sun
Still looking for truth
Still looking confused

It's only a name
You can call it a game
But I know how to lose
Much better than you

Step back a pace
The penultimate race
Is starting soon

By 63rd and Lex
Our re-anointed hex
Under a crescent moon
We'll pen a nobler tune
We'll cry again...
Cassandra would be proud of us as men

But it just doesn't feel right
The dawn and the light
Don't wash out the pain
It isn't the same

The palms of our hands
Keep bleeding in sand
The dusk risen heart
The sun has gone dark

So keep checking your step
Feint hard to the night
One choice left at hand
To Stand or to Die...

So tired and undone
We cannot know what we've begun
Until tomorrow

There is no promised land
No hidden course or soft command
No strength to borrow

What if all we've created is more sorrow?
Track Name: Lady Serenity
Wake up
Stare into the mirror and
I wish you were there instead
I’m a disgrace
Can’t imagine how anyone looks at my face
This pain I’ll never erase
And still

I die each time you walk on by
Each time you pass by my side
This futile sorrow I hide when I
Have to stand and watch him leave you to cry
What will it take till you realize
You are perfect in my eyes

Please wait
I know you’ll never love me
But perhaps you might seal my fate
Tell me
When you have to look at me
What do you see?
And could I ever be
One worth a thought inside the dreams of your day
What could I ever say
That might pretend to convey
What I would sacrifice elated to be briefly the one you adore
But I’m not the one you’re looking for
No I'm not the one you're looking for

You would be Lady Serenity
If you were mine to call
Anything at all
I’d wait but it’s apparent I’m much too late

I know
If you could have cared for me
You finally would have been loved
But I’m not the man that you dream of
No I’m not the man that you dream of…
Track Name: Foot Speed Down On The Ground
They're coming to get me
Been running on empty since Kalamazoo
Feel like I'm stuck in a beerless pub
But for now it's just gonna have to do

Your search for a bargain mate
Has brought you to the lost and found
The man standing by the gate
Is ready to bring the prices down

You're ready for love in the fountain
Foot speed down on the ground (x2)

You're making a big mistake
That's what they all keep saying to me
But I tend to set them straight
Ain't usually much for subtlety

Somewhere south of Houston street
You're trading up for a better piece
But baby the real elite
Ain't hardly the kind you wanna to fleece

You better get straight to the point girl
The shots just ain't gonna cease
You better get straight to the point Chiquita
The shots just ain't gonna cease

Release
Let go
Don't ask
Don't know (x3)

You'll find
In time
It's better to be blind

You think that with pocket queens
You ought to feel free to make demands
But honey we all can see
You're trying to bluff out a losing hand

I'm sure that your smile has saved you
Let you command weaker men
But here in the den of the lions
We don't have much to pretend
We all would die for our brethren
What have you got to defend?
Track Name: Heaven's Not Enough
Heaven's not enough
If when you get there
Just another blue...
And heaven's not enough
You think you've found it
And it loses you

You've thought of all there is
But not enough
And it loses you in a cloud

There most everything is nothing
That it seems
Where you see the things you only want to see

I'd fly away
To a higher plane
To say words I resist
To float away
Decide
To re-forget

And heaven's not enough
If when I'm there I don't remember you
And heaven does enough
You think you know it
And it uses you

I saw so many things
But like a dream
Always losing me in a cloud

Cause I couldn't cry
Cause I turned away
Couldn't see the score
Didn't know the pain
Of leaving yesterday really far behind
In another life
In another dream
By a different name
Gave it all away
For a memory
And a quiet life
And I felt the face
Of a cold tonight
Still don't know the score
But I know the pain
Of leaving everything really far behind
And if I could cry
And if I could live what truth I did then take me there
Heaven goodbye
Track Name: I'm Getting Old
It’s not a good time
I’ve got a lot on my mind
And I just feel like going home

It’s all I can say
To keep you away
And keep my phantom world condoned

There’s a part of me that wants to be
On the good side of the analogy
But I don’t have the right to throw in one more fight
And say that you’re just being cold

I’m getting old
This sadness is familiar
And my first romantic impulse is to fold
Nobody told me
What I’d have to cover
Or my future in another dying soul
I’m getting old

That night in November
Is all I remember when
She asks me who you are

She already knows
And so she supposes
That you simply broke my heart

I would be polite if she were right
And at least I’d take her out tonight
But I don’t care to stand before the promised land
Pretending I should feel consoled

I’m getting old
My pride is just a memory
And this emptiness is all I have to show
I could behold
A thousand brilliant colors
And not recognize the pallor of my own
I’m getting old

The mystery in what you see
Is right before your eyes
It’s hardly a surprise that I’m alone
Apologies aren’t new to me
So don’t pretend I’m owed
I know exactly why you have to go

You’ll see me quite often
It’s usually the common tale
That’s never really told

I’m getting old
I’m tired of running backwards
But I just can’t find a forward way to go
My life unfolds
One cross after the other
But I don’t know how to play another role
‘Cause I’m getting old
Track Name: In A Garden Now Empty
In a garden now empty
I met an old friend
Her name now eludes me
But surely I couldn't comprehend
Her contention
Those days were too strange
There's hardly a moment
I linger on any kind of change

The moonlight is wistful
It shines through the trees
This warm summer city
Is only as pensive as the
Breeze that consumes me
This calm time of year
The night that is promised
Is surely the sum of separate fears

Don't wait
Just make your next mistake
Embrace the coming fall
It's all that matters
Take the world withal

You're searching for an answer
You've already found
Just take some time out
It will come around

Your status is whispered
Through every stare
There's something I've missed here
But nothing prepared me for the
End that was destined
Beyond softer dreams
The daylight won't question
The dawn of a quiet malady

It's time
Now let your thoughts incline
To watch your mind unfurl
You'll soon see better
The conceit within this world

You can't quite mount a defense
For what you don't regret
Such scant forgiveness
But so easy to forget

Soon
You'll see this autumn moon
And long for its concessions
Fight to one more draw with your
Regressions
Stammer some confession
And live by what you'd die for
No one has the right to ask for more

The tacit connection
Lies silent in space
Your cadre of angels
Is running on vapors
And your bloodline is weary
Your friends aren't there
If you once had a lover
You've long since forgotten if she cared...
Track Name: One Night Conversations
I've never been much for one night conversations
I don't have the heart to pretend I love what I can't know
But I've been living the life of a million altercations
And I'm tired enough to believe you if you tell me so

You're probably mine for at best a few more hours
You probably won't think twice when it's “so long, good show”
I can't say that I didn't get the implications
I know that I'm breaking the rules, but baby please don't go

Time keeps passing me by
I don't know why I'm still alone
For all I've tried
I've never managed to be known
And though you've told me
This is all we can be
I still can't see why that has to be so
So please don't go
Please don't go

It's not that I don't understand the limitations
I know you were perfectly clear on where it had to stay
And yet we're still locked in dejected hesitation
'Cause somewhere you're starting to realize that your heart's in disarray

It can't possibly be
That that emotion was just me
I know you felt
What we've both been living without
If it was just despair
Or else the summertime air
Then why would I be driven to you so?
So please don't go
Please don't go

We could take a train to New Orleans
Hit up Pat O's and Sweet Lorraine's
Live out this fantasy for one more night
Cause sometimes
The parts of life you want to change
Just aren't something you arrange
If you're not as lonely when you hold me tight
Then why can't you convince yourself it's right?

One lost tear runs your face
For this ephemeral embrace
I still can't tell
Why we're abandoning ourselves
Why can't we try
To make our beautiful lie
Survive just long enough to become so?
Oh please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go...
Track Name: The Lowlands of Osaka
Night is falling on the plains of Kinai
Stars our suns in this courtesan space
Sakura’s singing with the voice of Asia
Japanese winds and Japanese grace

Sun sets slowly on a distant skyline
Acetylene fire shows its natural place
Sakura’s ballad is a peaceful pleasure
You’d almost believe her by the look on her face

But I close my eyes and the bridges disappear
Spring's blossoms fade and fly away
And the skies are strangely clear
A lifetime’s violent dreams I can finally let free
To die in the lowlands of Osaka

Cold Korean winter in my veins
These glassy eyes and powdery skies
That propagate their azure skeins
Cold Korean emptiness and pain

Cold Korean lover by my side
Revels in her continence
And shudders at the warmth she hides
Cold Korean ignorance and pride
Falters as our final memory dies

But don’t abandon what you realize
Or pray too solemnly
These scars that mar my face prove that I can fight
Tomorrow’s enemy
Levies her advantage as she strikes
The day is hers but
Godly irony leaves me here alive
To die another time

And I close my eyes as the battlefield appears
The bitter day sinks into me and my blood runs through my tears
Between the screech of the tires
And the sparks on the wires
I’m dead in memory of Sakura

Barely the morning and I open the window
Ashen horizon that emblazons my face
Tomorrow will promise to be carefree and generous
If I am alive at the end of today

The honor is mine to be riding out broken pastimes
The hour awaits but I’m still running things through my mind
We stand at our trials and we live as our fate compels us
The sun will ascend and my existence will lack design
Unravel and unwind

Autumn leaves
Transfixed in oranges and reds
Belie these trees
And signify a dying breed

This autumn breeze
Is cold enough to leave you with
The certainty
That all you’ll ever beg or borrow
Is some other brand of sorrow
Honor is your only pleasant dream

Elaine, what do you have to tell me?
Is the rain still falling in South London?
Goodbye…
I won’t be made to say it one more time!
I reckon that you’ll understand tomorrow

Don’t ask; you know that I won’t answer
I have no more assets left to sell
It’s easy Lena, just forget you knew me
And employ a higher class of clientèle

The dying days of summer
I offer to my brother
Although I haven’t much to say I’ve done

But God remains to guide me
And three still stand beside me
Their loyalty is all that I have won

And now we stand before the plains of Kinai
Four lost souls in an alien dream
Sakura tells me that the stars are lonely
And so she’ll sing if she can offer them peace

So I close my eyes and abandon my lament
This cloudless night is all too bright
So I’ll see it to its end
The dark is quieter now that I understand how
To live in the lowlands of Osaka
Track Name: My Lonesome Pianist
She’s lies across my chest and I’m draped round her shoulders
So fine as she reclines that I can’t help but stare
She sighs as she replies “If only you were older...
If only we had met somewhere other than here”

The ’95 Latour that I had planned on saving
Is all but lost on her but lets her know I care
The comfort of the moment softens her composure
She hesitates at all she’s terrified to share

‘Cause behind her
Resignation’s shield and lance
She likes this childlike romance
The dreams she casts aside as dead
I kindle in her stead

Despite how hard she tries I see the thoughts she’s hiding
She lies when she denies that hoping brings her fear
She emphasizes just how much she hates performing
But I can hear the music taunting her despair

‘Cause she once said
“I don’t need a wealthy man
As long as I can play again
So save the diamonds, save the brass
A Steinway’s all I ask”

My lonesome pianist’s
A realist
For all she’s seen and done
I’ll call her actions perfectly
And she’ll just carry on

I credit her indifference
To a hold a steady countenance
But I know I can love her till she cries

And yet for everything she’s held inside
A decade’s worth of alibis
This ruse is all that fortifies her life

‘Cause she told me
“Even if you really are
The man who should have won my heart
No matter what you say or do
I don’t know how to be with you
It’s not the way it should have been
But I’ve already given in
And so for all I wish you’d stay
Goodbye’s all I can say...”
Track Name: Lady Chaos
Debbie
Don’t look at me
The sky’s getting bright from the way your figure lights up the night
Debbie, your imagery
Is holding me fast
I can feel a little conscious at last

What’s true is just a concept determined by you
You turn and my foundations begin to burn
Debbie, you’re killing me
I’m locked in your gaze and you tell me that we’ve been here for days

Am I still standing Lord?
What have I done that you should bring upon me this one?

Walk me through your avenues
Another design, all these fragments that you somehow align
I race through endless space
The order I find lets me know that you constructed this place

You spin
And now the orbits are locking in
So clear that only you could command this sphere
Debbie, this fantasy
Is only a dream but you tell me it’s whatever it seems

Am I a good man Lord?
How could I deserve to be privy to thoughts of hers?

These days a man prays for wealth and success
And the power to be the
Best of his colleagues
His status is prime
But I’m praying for her time

Debbie, subconsciously
I love this relief though it promises me nothing but grief
I see your apathy
And promise to try nothing more than you desire of me

I know why you would favor to walk alone
Your days don’t run their course in a human way
Some stars are heaven’s scars
The offspring of Lady Chaos
Are tears that defy your heart
We were broken from the start
Track Name: The Great Escape
It's been a predictably quiet flight
And I'm counting the beat of the landing lights
I'll be back in New York in an hour or so
I won't bother to ask what I already know

The water still standing from last week's rain
Is starting to freeze on the window panes
There's a patch of the framework still holding out
Like it's trying to fashion hope out of doubt

Tell me
What am I supposed to say?
Should I just have assumed it would end this way?
Should I take it as a tacit grace
That I'm back to inhabiting empty space

I'd like to pretend that a car alarm
Is what's keeping me up reading Vagabond
And rechecking my watch at each chapter's end
To see whether it's worth trying to sleep again

I grope for a way to preempt this hell
But I'm watching the pattern repeat itself
And no matter the tactic I try to use
I know just where this torment is leading to

I'll break down
Lash out at the friends that are still around
And spend down the last of the goodwill
That I haven't already run through

It's too late
To plan for The Great Escape
I wouldn't know where to go anyway

The time or the date is of small import
My life is already a poor retort
A mitate-e of sorts to forsaken dreams
Long since dead in the wake of the world they had seen
Track Name: I Miss You Catherine...
Can't you see?
We've crafted a perfect tautology
We'll scare up a victory face
To cap this improbable race

Suddenly
We're living the life that we ought to be
We don't even have to keep score
We can't really fight anymore

Could it be
That we have finally arrived?
Do you think that we made it on time?
I suppose it's ok if there's still a song to play

Do you think they're all waiting for you?
Do we even have half a clue
Of what we're supposed to do?

But it's alright
I know that it's been a long fight
I'm an older man
It was hardly a high school romance
In the end
I wish we'd been better friends

I miss you Catherine

It's quite a sight
To see you awash in the limelight
Your eyes have a tenebrous haze
A subtly resigned kind of glaze

I hope you're right
You look so abandoned tonight
I don't even know how to answer
What will change if I say I was afraid it would end this way?

The world is entirely too small
You won't ever escape it all
Eventually the act's got to fall

But it's alright
I barely remember the last fight
I'm an older man
And I'm not even sure that I knew you
By the end
We should have been better friends

I miss you Catherine

Quiet night
The very last leg of a long flight
I'll be home soon
I'll leave the rationalizing all to you

Just let it be
You wouldn't do well to see me
I'm scarcely the man that you knew
But I still can remember a younger you...

And it's alright
It's not worth beginning a new fight
I'm an older man
It's enough just to think that you're happy
With the end
I can't make us better friends

I miss you Catherine