1. |
Lost Under The Sun
05:55
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Dear highway Nine
It's been a long time
How are you?
Made one mistake
But I'm back to retake
What is mine
So sunshine make a little space
I'm back to my old face
I'm doing fine
My mind is clear
And now that I'm here
We shall begin anew
You can repay your dues in kind
I'm not the only one
Lost under the sun
Still looking for truth
Still looking confused
It's only a name
You can call it a game
But I know how to lose
Much better than you
Step back a pace
The penultimate race
Is starting soon
By 63rd and Lex
Our re-anointed hex
Under a crescent moon
We'll pen a nobler tune
We'll cry again...
Cassandra would be proud of us as men
But it just doesn't feel right
The dawn and the light
Don't wash out the pain
It isn't the same
The palms of our hands
Keep bleeding in sand
The dusk risen heart
The sun has gone dark
So keep checking your step
Feint hard to the night
One choice left at hand
To Stand or to Die...
So tired and undone
We cannot know what we've begun
Until tomorrow
There is no promised land
No hidden course or soft command
No strength to borrow
What if all we've created is more sorrow?
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2. |
Lady Serenity
04:50
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Wake up
Stare into the mirror and
I wish you were there instead
I’m a disgrace
Can’t imagine how anyone looks at my face
This pain I’ll never erase
And still
I die each time you walk on by
Each time you pass by my side
This futile sorrow I hide when I
Have to stand and watch him leave you to cry
What will it take till you realize
You are perfect in my eyes
Please wait
I know you’ll never love me
But perhaps you might seal my fate
Tell me
When you have to look at me
What do you see?
And could I ever be
One worth a thought inside the dreams of your day
What could I ever say
That might pretend to convey
What I would sacrifice elated to be briefly the one you adore
But I’m not the one you’re looking for
No I'm not the one you're looking for
You would be Lady Serenity
If you were mine to call
Anything at all
I’d wait but it’s apparent I’m much too late
I know
If you could have cared for me
You finally would have been loved
But I’m not the man that you dream of
No I’m not the man that you dream of…
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3. |
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They're coming to get me
Been running on empty since Kalamazoo
Feel like I'm stuck in a beerless pub
But for now it's just gonna have to do
Your search for a bargain mate
Has brought you to the lost and found
The man standing by the gate
Is ready to bring the prices down
You're ready for love in the fountain
Foot speed down on the ground (x2)
You're making a big mistake
That's what they all keep saying to me
But I tend to set them straight
Ain't usually much for subtlety
Somewhere south of Houston street
You're trading up for a better piece
But baby the real elite
Ain't hardly the kind you wanna to fleece
You better get straight to the point girl
The shots just ain't gonna cease
You better get straight to the point Chiquita
The shots just ain't gonna cease
Release
Let go
Don't ask
Don't know (x3)
You'll find
In time
It's better to be blind
You think that with pocket queens
You ought to feel free to make demands
But honey we all can see
You're trying to bluff out a losing hand
I'm sure that your smile has saved you
Let you command weaker men
But here in the den of the lions
We don't have much to pretend
We all would die for our brethren
What have you got to defend?
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4. |
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Heaven's not enough
If when you get there
Just another blue...
And heaven's not enough
You think you've found it
And it loses you
You've thought of all there is
But not enough
And it loses you in a cloud
There most everything is nothing
That it seems
Where you see the things you only want to see
I'd fly away
To a higher plane
To say words I resist
To float away
Decide
To re-forget
And heaven's not enough
If when I'm there I don't remember you
And heaven does enough
You think you know it
And it uses you
I saw so many things
But like a dream
Always losing me in a cloud
Cause I couldn't cry
Cause I turned away
Couldn't see the score
Didn't know the pain
Of leaving yesterday really far behind
In another life
In another dream
By a different name
Gave it all away
For a memory
And a quiet life
And I felt the face
Of a cold tonight
Still don't know the score
But I know the pain
Of leaving everything really far behind
And if I could cry
And if I could live what truth I did then take me there
Heaven goodbye
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5. |
I'm Getting Old
04:09
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It’s not a good time
I’ve got a lot on my mind
And I just feel like going home
It’s all I can say
To keep you away
And keep my phantom world condoned
There’s a part of me that wants to be
On the good side of the analogy
But I don’t have the right to throw in one more fight
And say that you’re just being cold
I’m getting old
This sadness is familiar
And my first romantic impulse is to fold
Nobody told me
What I’d have to cover
Or my future in another dying soul
I’m getting old
That night in November
Is all I remember when
She asks me who you are
She already knows
And so she supposes
That you simply broke my heart
I would be polite if she were right
And at least I’d take her out tonight
But I don’t care to stand before the promised land
Pretending I should feel consoled
I’m getting old
My pride is just a memory
And this emptiness is all I have to show
I could behold
A thousand brilliant colors
And not recognize the pallor of my own
I’m getting old
The mystery in what you see
Is right before your eyes
It’s hardly a surprise that I’m alone
Apologies aren’t new to me
So don’t pretend I’m owed
I know exactly why you have to go
You’ll see me quite often
It’s usually the common tale
That’s never really told
I’m getting old
I’m tired of running backwards
But I just can’t find a forward way to go
My life unfolds
One cross after the other
But I don’t know how to play another role
‘Cause I’m getting old
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6. |
In A Garden Now Empty
05:51
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In a garden now empty
I met an old friend
Her name now eludes me
But surely I couldn't comprehend
Her contention
Those days were too strange
There's hardly a moment
I linger on any kind of change
The moonlight is wistful
It shines through the trees
This warm summer city
Is only as pensive as the
Breeze that consumes me
This calm time of year
The night that is promised
Is surely the sum of separate fears
Don't wait
Just make your next mistake
Embrace the coming fall
It's all that matters
Take the world withal
You're searching for an answer
You've already found
Just take some time out
It will come around
Your status is whispered
Through every stare
There's something I've missed here
But nothing prepared me for the
End that was destined
Beyond softer dreams
The daylight won't question
The dawn of a quiet malady
It's time
Now let your thoughts incline
To watch your mind unfurl
You'll soon see better
The conceit within this world
You can't quite mount a defense
For what you don't regret
Such scant forgiveness
But so easy to forget
Soon
You'll see this autumn moon
And long for its concessions
Fight to one more draw with your
Regressions
Stammer some confession
And live by what you'd die for
No one has the right to ask for more
The tacit connection
Lies silent in space
Your cadre of angels
Is running on vapors
And your bloodline is weary
Your friends aren't there
If you once had a lover
You've long since forgotten if she cared...
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7. |
One Night Conversations
06:05
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I've never been much for one night conversations
I don't have the heart to pretend I love what I can't know
But I've been living the life of a million altercations
And I'm tired enough to believe you if you tell me so
You're probably mine for at best a few more hours
You probably won't think twice when it's “so long, good show”
I can't say that I didn't get the implications
I know that I'm breaking the rules, but baby please don't go
Time keeps passing me by
I don't know why I'm still alone
For all I've tried
I've never managed to be known
And though you've told me
This is all we can be
I still can't see why that has to be so
So please don't go
Please don't go
It's not that I don't understand the limitations
I know you were perfectly clear on where it had to stay
And yet we're still locked in dejected hesitation
'Cause somewhere you're starting to realize that your heart's in disarray
It can't possibly be
That that emotion was just me
I know you felt
What we've both been living without
If it was just despair
Or else the summertime air
Then why would I be driven to you so?
So please don't go
Please don't go
We could take a train to New Orleans
Hit up Pat O's and Sweet Lorraine's
Live out this fantasy for one more night
Cause sometimes
The parts of life you want to change
Just aren't something you arrange
If you're not as lonely when you hold me tight
Then why can't you convince yourself it's right?
One lost tear runs your face
For this ephemeral embrace
I still can't tell
Why we're abandoning ourselves
Why can't we try
To make our beautiful lie
Survive just long enough to become so?
Oh please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go
Please don't go...
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8. |
The Lowlands of Osaka
12:31
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Night is falling on the plains of Kinai
Stars our suns in this courtesan space
Sakura’s singing with the voice of Asia
Japanese winds and Japanese grace
Sun sets slowly on a distant skyline
Acetylene fire shows its natural place
Sakura’s ballad is a peaceful pleasure
You’d almost believe her by the look on her face
But I close my eyes and the bridges disappear
Spring's blossoms fade and fly away
And the skies are strangely clear
A lifetime’s violent dreams I can finally let free
To die in the lowlands of Osaka
Cold Korean winter in my veins
These glassy eyes and powdery skies
That propagate their azure skeins
Cold Korean emptiness and pain
Cold Korean lover by my side
Revels in her continence
And shudders at the warmth she hides
Cold Korean ignorance and pride
Falters as our final memory dies
But don’t abandon what you realize
Or pray too solemnly
These scars that mar my face prove that I can fight
Tomorrow’s enemy
Levies her advantage as she strikes
The day is hers but
Godly irony leaves me here alive
To die another time
And I close my eyes as the battlefield appears
The bitter day sinks into me and my blood runs through my tears
Between the screech of the tires
And the sparks on the wires
I’m dead in memory of Sakura
Barely the morning and I open the window
Ashen horizon that emblazons my face
Tomorrow will promise to be carefree and generous
If I am alive at the end of today
The honor is mine to be riding out broken pastimes
The hour awaits but I’m still running things through my mind
We stand at our trials and we live as our fate compels us
The sun will ascend and my existence will lack design
Unravel and unwind
Autumn leaves
Transfixed in oranges and reds
Belie these trees
And signify a dying breed
This autumn breeze
Is cold enough to leave you with
The certainty
That all you’ll ever beg or borrow
Is some other brand of sorrow
Honor is your only pleasant dream
Elaine, what do you have to tell me?
Is the rain still falling in South London?
Goodbye…
I won’t be made to say it one more time!
I reckon that you’ll understand tomorrow
Don’t ask; you know that I won’t answer
I have no more assets left to sell
It’s easy Lena, just forget you knew me
And employ a higher class of clientèle
The dying days of summer
I offer to my brother
Although I haven’t much to say I’ve done
But God remains to guide me
And three still stand beside me
Their loyalty is all that I have won
And now we stand before the plains of Kinai
Four lost souls in an alien dream
Sakura tells me that the stars are lonely
And so she’ll sing if she can offer them peace
So I close my eyes and abandon my lament
This cloudless night is all too bright
So I’ll see it to its end
The dark is quieter now that I understand how
To live in the lowlands of Osaka
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9. |
My Lonesome Pianist
04:19
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She’s lies across my chest and I’m draped round her shoulders
So fine as she reclines that I can’t help but stare
She sighs as she replies “If only you were older...
If only we had met somewhere other than here”
The ’95 Latour that I had planned on saving
Is all but lost on her but lets her know I care
The comfort of the moment softens her composure
She hesitates at all she’s terrified to share
‘Cause behind her
Resignation’s shield and lance
She likes this childlike romance
The dreams she casts aside as dead
I kindle in her stead
Despite how hard she tries I see the thoughts she’s hiding
She lies when she denies that hoping brings her fear
She emphasizes just how much she hates performing
But I can hear the music taunting her despair
‘Cause she once said
“I don’t need a wealthy man
As long as I can play again
So save the diamonds, save the brass
A Steinway’s all I ask”
My lonesome pianist’s
A realist
For all she’s seen and done
I’ll call her actions perfectly
And she’ll just carry on
I credit her indifference
To a hold a steady countenance
But I know I can love her till she cries
And yet for everything she’s held inside
A decade’s worth of alibis
This ruse is all that fortifies her life
‘Cause she told me
“Even if you really are
The man who should have won my heart
No matter what you say or do
I don’t know how to be with you
It’s not the way it should have been
But I’ve already given in
And so for all I wish you’d stay
Goodbye’s all I can say...”
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10. |
Lady Chaos
04:45
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Debbie
Don’t look at me
The sky’s getting bright from the way your figure lights up the night
Debbie, your imagery
Is holding me fast
I can feel a little conscious at last
What’s true is just a concept determined by you
You turn and my foundations begin to burn
Debbie, you’re killing me
I’m locked in your gaze and you tell me that we’ve been here for days
Am I still standing Lord?
What have I done that you should bring upon me this one?
Walk me through your avenues
Another design, all these fragments that you somehow align
I race through endless space
The order I find lets me know that you constructed this place
You spin
And now the orbits are locking in
So clear that only you could command this sphere
Debbie, this fantasy
Is only a dream but you tell me it’s whatever it seems
Am I a good man Lord?
How could I deserve to be privy to thoughts of hers?
These days a man prays for wealth and success
And the power to be the
Best of his colleagues
His status is prime
But I’m praying for her time
Debbie, subconsciously
I love this relief though it promises me nothing but grief
I see your apathy
And promise to try nothing more than you desire of me
I know why you would favor to walk alone
Your days don’t run their course in a human way
Some stars are heaven’s scars
The offspring of Lady Chaos
Are tears that defy your heart
We were broken from the start
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11. |
The Great Escape
04:58
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It's been a predictably quiet flight
And I'm counting the beat of the landing lights
I'll be back in New York in an hour or so
I won't bother to ask what I already know
The water still standing from last week's rain
Is starting to freeze on the window panes
There's a patch of the framework still holding out
Like it's trying to fashion hope out of doubt
Tell me
What am I supposed to say?
Should I just have assumed it would end this way?
Should I take it as a tacit grace
That I'm back to inhabiting empty space
I'd like to pretend that a car alarm
Is what's keeping me up reading Vagabond
And rechecking my watch at each chapter's end
To see whether it's worth trying to sleep again
I grope for a way to preempt this hell
But I'm watching the pattern repeat itself
And no matter the tactic I try to use
I know just where this torment is leading to
I'll break down
Lash out at the friends that are still around
And spend down the last of the goodwill
That I haven't already run through
It's too late
To plan for The Great Escape
I wouldn't know where to go anyway
The time or the date is of small import
My life is already a poor retort
A mitate-e of sorts to forsaken dreams
Long since dead in the wake of the world they had seen
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12. |
I Miss You Catherine...
06:13
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Can't you see?
We've crafted a perfect tautology
We'll scare up a victory face
To cap this improbable race
Suddenly
We're living the life that we ought to be
We don't even have to keep score
We can't really fight anymore
Could it be
That we have finally arrived?
Do you think that we made it on time?
I suppose it's ok if there's still a song to play
Do you think they're all waiting for you?
Do we even have half a clue
Of what we're supposed to do?
But it's alright
I know that it's been a long fight
I'm an older man
It was hardly a high school romance
In the end
I wish we'd been better friends
I miss you Catherine
It's quite a sight
To see you awash in the limelight
Your eyes have a tenebrous haze
A subtly resigned kind of glaze
I hope you're right
You look so abandoned tonight
I don't even know how to answer
What will change if I say I was afraid it would end this way?
The world is entirely too small
You won't ever escape it all
Eventually the act's got to fall
But it's alright
I barely remember the last fight
I'm an older man
And I'm not even sure that I knew you
By the end
We should have been better friends
I miss you Catherine
Quiet night
The very last leg of a long flight
I'll be home soon
I'll leave the rationalizing all to you
Just let it be
You wouldn't do well to see me
I'm scarcely the man that you knew
But I still can remember a younger you...
And it's alright
It's not worth beginning a new fight
I'm an older man
It's enough just to think that you're happy
With the end
I can't make us better friends
I miss you Catherine
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Dev Avidon Brooklyn, New York
I am a composer, a writer, a singer and an engineer.
I create jazz and rock and a child of
both.
I create music with my brother as Wire Spoke Wheels.
I create Dave's Cables
I create complex and intricate things.
I try to create beautiful things.
I create because Art sanctifies humanity.
I create for an American meritocracy.
I create for a time when art may live again.
... more
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